Start spreading the news"Let everyone know that you are looking, if you are, so that they are on the lookout for you," says Dennis Lin, MD, an attending psychiatrist and physician-in-charge of the Psychosexual Medicine Program at Beth Israel Medical Center, in New York City, and an assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral Sciences at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine.
Y., and the author of Learn from the past"If your marriage was sexless, but you are now looking for someone who is sexually attuned, put it out there," says Praver, who practices what she preaches.
Praver, 67, is also recently divorced and back in the dating game.
Orbuch, Ph D, a professor of sociology at Oakland University, in Rochester, Mich., and the author of .
"Contrary to what your friends may tell you or you may think, studies show that there is no predetermined time period that you need to wait after a divorce or breakup before you can begin dating again."Understand what went wrong in your marriage"If you know what went wrong or what was missing in your marriage, you can put it out there," says Fran Cohen Praver, Ph D, a clinical psychologist in Locust Valley, N.
The sparks didn't fly, but it did get her back in the dating game, which sure has changed a lot since last she played. Most gray divorceesthe nickname given to those who divorce after age 50met their spouses the old-fashioned wayon a blind date, at school, on the job, or even at a singles' party.
Now websites such as and e Harmony offer singles the opportunity to meet online instead of in person."I can scoot all over the Internet for work, but online dating was a brand new experience," Smith recalls.
From the first text or email to the first date and how to tell your children, these expert-approved, tried-and-true tips for seamless gray dating will get you back in the game.
"Imagine my surprise to spend so little time online before meeting someone so decent, down-to-earth, and genuinely delightful.
I didn't have to kiss a single frog and feel lucky to have had this experience."Want to follow in Smith's footsteps?
"I had friends who had done it, but when it first became a phenomenon, I thought it was a wonderful opportunity for every creepy person to start trolling through the masses," she says. Single no more, Smith has been in a relationship for about a year with a man she met online.
While there are no immediate wedding bells in her future, she is not ruling anything out."I used to dread the idea of dating again after being married so long, because it seems that every single person you meet who's over 40 has one horror story after another," she says.
Vikki Smith's first foray into the dating world after 30-plus years of marriage involved a bit of chicanery on her part.
The 57-year-old Austin, Texas–based marketing consultant "tricked" a colleague into meeting her for lunch after sensing some chemistry as they worked on a project.